Wet and Misty eyes...

It's my 3rd semester break now..it's been 2 week plus since i last met him, which means it's already 2 weeks into holidays...haha...I miss him dearly.. can't wait for 16th January, when I'm going back to K17,UPM..the place where all the sufferings and torturing take place..haha...thinking that I will have to face another major exam the most dreadful, horrifying exam for all medical students here in UPM - the professional exam..urgh!!. it makes me nausea and dizzy already, I can't imagine how it will be later when i have to start buried myself in piles of never ending notes...arghhh...anatomy, physiology, pathology...these i still can take it...but pharmoaco?? DRUGS??!!! Urgh!! Can really melt my brain just by thinking about it...!!!

Ok, let's change the mood here...talking about holidays...at least I still a few more days, 9 days to be exact to enjoy my beauty sleep..(wake up at the earliest 10:30am..lol)...non-stop-eating mum's cooking...facebook-ing...drooling...yup, i drool..haha.. going out with family.. For the past one week, I'm a regular visitor at Hospital Kuala Lumpur, wonder why huh?? Not because I have to see the psychiatric or what...maybe i do have?? Hmmm.. Anyway, It's my aunt, she's admitted to HKL..so we visits her every fortnight... She had aspiration pneumonia, so under antibiotic now and is recovering. But because of her condition, all her meals are tube feed..really kesian her...hope she gets better soon...i'll pray for your super fast recovery Cik Yah...(that's how i usually call her)

Well. other than the hospitals,1-utama, pavilion, hartamas shopping centre..where elso have i been too?? hmm....i guess thats all..yup, other than that i'm pretty much just sitting at home helping mummy out with house chore. It's true ok, I also learn how to cook more advanced dishes too...hehe...Now, you can ask me to cook simple dishes like fried mee, spaghetti, friend rice, sotong with spicy lemon chili... the latter one, is the one i just cooked about an hour ago...haha..yum yum... no one can beats mum's recipe!!!
I bet u must be thinking what my title got to do with all i have just wrote right? well..here goes..

It's just few days into a new year...i already facing some problems and bad luck too..luck is really not on my side these days... Well, shed a lot of tears for the past 2 days...I still can't really accept the truth and the fact yet...I keep asking myself the very same question over and over again...it keep playing in my mind that i find it hard to pause it. The question is "Is there no possibility for us?" ...haiz..
When be broke the bad news to me, i felt like the whole world is going to crash down on me. I was suffocating and really felt like jumping off from 7th floor(FPSK building..don't know why that's the only building i can think of at that point..=.=) than accepting the truth!! My eyes got swollen and reddish in the morning when i woke up..thanks to all the tears that accumulated in this tiny eyes.... The worst part is I just can't bear the pain anymore...I felt like nothing else matters anymore, I keep thinking what my life would be in the next few years...how am i going to take this, how am i going to face him again?? Can we be like what we use to be?? I can't help but to just cry every time I heard the song Breathe(by Taylor Swift). This song really describe my situation.. I try do do other stuff to take my mind of...like playing computer games..plant versus zombies..I cried too..but i did won at every level of the game...HAHA..weir right? Am still wondering how i can beat those zombies with my wet and misty eyes but one thing I'm very sure is not even the cute cute plants or the ugly zombies in the game can lightened me up..haiz.. sob sob..

But now, after talking to mummy and daddy and lil sis...it help me a lot...I talk with them for more than one hour..it help me to think positive again, after surrounding myself with negative thoughts for 2 nights...i love u mummy, daddy!! thanks for the advices and support..muuahhhxx... at least i know that no matter what happen, my family had my back...always...
Still..i miss him a lot..like really a lot..i can't stop thinking about all the good and bad times we share together, everything seems so perfect with him, I felt so happy and xin fu.. It's 2am in the morning, feeling like I just lost a friend..a best friend indeed.. Why do i have to lose everything in one go??!! Luckily, we still contact each other, we talked on the phone, try to console each other...help each other to get through this painful, unbearable moment...only God knows, deep down in my heart..I will never leave him as he is the one guy that had really changed me in and out. So, how could i ever end this? No, I won't just let what we had built so far ripped down by anyone..NO WAY!! I'm going to fight for us..I won't stop being there for him..care for him..always.. Even though just as a friend, I won't stop!! I will follow old old time table..and just be me around him.. Because..
I want to be happy just being me.